Self sabotaging myself?

Self sabotaging myself?


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Hello I'm relatively new to this. I've been practicing for about 6 months now, but so far pretty diligently. I'd say I only miss about 1 day a week, each session about an hour. And all I can say is wow it has already helped me. I'm slowly becoming more aware of my anxiety issues, like I can see it from outside myself, which is helping me control it. I've also noticed the serenity it brings me after a session. It really does quiet that incessant monkey brain.

Anyway the reason I'm posting is because I'm worried my desire for these benefits is going to sabotage my practice in the long run. I know you are not supposed to expect anything and you're not supposed to meditate for these pleasurable benefits. But I can't help but be disappointed when I have more average session. It just feels to dang good to have peace. I'm 31 btw. 

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